Penny Dreadful Tea

Penny Dreadful is probably my favorite show on TV and IT’S BACK!  This is the show that makes horror so beautiful and poignant.  If you don’t watch it, think about your life.  Think while watching it with tea and scones.

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It seems right to have tea in the springtime, but this tea will be enjoyed right from my couch.  Good thing it’s gross outside.  I went with finger sandwiches and scones, not too much food because this is really just for me.  I wanted something a little edgier than cucumber for the sandwiches, and I landed on hummus and caramelized onion.

I cut up some red onion thinly, but really not thin enough, and sauteed it with vegan butter and some brown sugar until it got all soft and yummy.  I started assembling my sandwiches by buttering the bread, but I abandoned that after the first sandwich.  It just didn’t add enough to the sandwich that I felt it was worth trying to spread butter on soft bread.

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I moved on to just spreading hummus on each side of the bread.  I just used store-bought roasted garlic hummus but I’m sure most flavors would be good.  Some hummus, some onions, and that’s it!  The pain part (and the most important) is getting the crusts off.

I cut one sandwich into a coffin shape, which I really liked, but I was doing it freehand and the more I cut, the more filling gushed out.  I ditched that pretty soon and just cut them into strips or squares but I think it would be worth it if I had cookie cutters.

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It could use some trimming…

On to the scones!  I modified the recipe from Stuck on Sweet, leaving out the glaze.  Instead, I filled them with triple berry preserves because I wanted them to look like they were bleeding.  They ended up just being a mess but a delicious, delicious mess.  Maybe I’ll eat another one now…

So, starting when the beaters are out of the dishwasher, I mixed 2 1/2 cups flour, 1/2 tsp salt, 1 tbs baking powder, and 1/3 cup sugar.   I substituted the butter for 3/4 cup vegan butter and mixed “until crumbly” which was pretty much immediately.  I mixed the wet ingredients in a separate bowl, 1 egg (I used an actual egg, but I’m sure it would work with whatever egg substitute you like best), 1/2 cup of almond milk, and 1 tbs of vanilla.  I dumped that mixture in with the dry ingredients and mixed until it was all doughy.

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No one was home while I was making this huge mess, thankfully.

I was out of parchment paper so I lined the pan with aluminum foil, sprayed it with cooking spray, and threw a bunch of flour on it.  Same thing, right?  I took half of the scone dough and worked it into a circle on the pan and started laying store-bought triple berry preserves all over it.  I mean, I really dumped a lot on it.  I wanted it to ooze.  It did.

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Like a giant, gooey jelly sandwich.

 

I took the rest of the scone dough and made a circle to place on top of the jam-drenched scone blob and sprinkled some sugar on top.  It went into the 425 degree oven as soon as it preheated, so 7 hours later.  I ended up have to cook this monstrosity twice as long as the recipe called for, about 23 minutes.  Pretty much, I just waited until the top got golden peaks.

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You’ll regret eating the burned preserves

Pulled them out, cut them up, and made some tea.  I made a berry tea, which was really good but I’m not telling you what kind of tea to make.  You make the tea that makes you feel like it’s not Sunday.  Like you have a whole weekend ahead of you.

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I promise it tasted better than it looked.

 

So eat, and drink tea, and watch Penny Dreadful.  And I think some tarot card readings are in order.  Maybe the cards will tell you that a new cat will come into your life.

 

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